request

So, first, I want to tell you how hard it is for me to put this out there and actually ASK for this.  Really, really hard.  Just to let you know up front.  Second, I’m not really sure how to ask…if I were standing in front of you, or on the phone with you, I would just do the blurt method and just hope you didn’t think that I sounded too dumb or too new agey or old agey or naive or whatever.  But this is a blog, and there is no blurting in blogging–or not much for me, anyways.  I tend to overthink what I write (please PLEASE don’t write in the comments that you couldn’t tell! Ack!).

So my request is for your prayers or thoughts or energy or meditation or whatever it is that you DO if you do something of that nature.  And thank goodness that I don’t have to come to you asking for that for someone’s physical health (though, in that case, I probably wouldn’t be shy about it at all).  I am ever so grateful that those near and dear to me are safe and sound.

What I really, really, REALLY need is for my house to sell.  This house is holding me, binding me to X, and it seems that he is doing whatever he can to sabatoge its sale and drag us both down with it.  There will be an open house on Sunday.  My realtor stated that he didn’t understand why we haven’t had more interest in the house, that it really didn’t make much sense to him.

So please take a few moments to put some thoughts, prayers, energy–whatever your vocabulary is–toward asking that the universe send someone to buy my house.  It will mean freedom for me.

to Luna–I hope you read this

Dear Luna:

You left this comment the other day:   “You are so brave and better off.Am in an abusive relationship too.Not a physical one,a verbal one.He is very dominant.You are very brave.I can never do what you did.”

I answered you in the comments, but I don’t know if you saw it.

Please go to verbalabuse.com.  It’s a good place to start.  They have message boards (you will have to call to get a password).  If he has access to your computer, learn to erase the  browser history (“alt” for menu, look under “tools”).

Of course he has you thinking that you could never leave, that you could never be strong enough.  I thought that nobody would believe me, but people believed me.  I believe you.  I also think that you may be stronger than you think you are right now.  That’s what this kind of abuse does.  It eats away at you, at your soul, until you don’t trust yourself, until you don’t believe that you are strong, are wise, are capable, when you are, you are, you are.

Everyone’s situation is different.  Please be smart and be safe.  There are resources for you if you don’t have anyone to turn to.  Go to that website.  It was started by the same woman who wrote the book I read that gave me my “lightbulb moment.”

The more that I talk about what has happened in my own life, the more people come out of the woodwork and tell me about their pasts, their parents, their friends, their siblings.  This is everywhere.  You are not the only one.  You are not alone in this.  You can survive.

Check out verbalabuse.com

You may need a password to get on the message boards–you have to call and talk to someone to get one. It’s a good place to start. And erase the history on your computer, if he has access to it. (alt, tools, delete browsing history)

Part of the abuse is to get you to think that you can’t leave. That’s part of it, part of the mind game. You’re better than that.