random

I’m really hoping the fact that I’m posting doesn’t cause any heart attacks out there.

All is well.  For some reason I have not been in a writing space, and am mostly succeeding at not guilting myself about this.

I’ve been reading Kristin‘s alphabet series, and even though I didn’t sign up for the challenge, I’m thinking about doing my own little series, as sometimes I feel like I could just write and write about a random topic, as long as I don’t have to worry about where I left off in my last post.

Or I could just write random posts without worrying about where I left off last.

something to make you laugh

I just read this and laughed the entire way through.  It is particularly good for people who have experience with dogs.

Read it and let me know if you liked it.

 

moving in

So, my housemate will be moving out at some point.  She has until November 1st, but she started packing last week. She’s still not speaking to me, or much anyway.  Sometimes she’ll say “hi” and “bye,” but that’s pretty much it (no, I’m not exaggerating).  I haven’t really asked her about when she’s leaving as it seems to be a touchy subject (understatement).

I have been living with very little storage space here (I’ve been living in my friend-who-owns-the-house’s bedroom, and have had to work around her stuff).  When the housemate moves out, though, I’ll actually be able to have all the closet space in my room, not just half, and all of the bathroom shelves.  It’s very exciting, particularly to my mom, as I will be able to move the last of my stuff out of her guest room closet.

I’ve lived here for over a year, but I haven’t felt fully “moved in,” partly for the reasons above, and partly because I thought I would have to move out (and not housemate) when my friend moved back.

It will be nice to move in all the way, and feel more settled.  Oh, yeah, and not have to deal with the awkwardness of living with someone who’s giving me the silent treatment.  That will be nice, too.

in case you haven’t seen this…

This may not actually count as “posting” since I’m  not writing very much.  I clicked on this video that a friend of mine posted to FB last night.  I saw it was over 12 minutes and thought, there’s no way I’m getting through the whole thing.  I’m so glad I did.  It’s really powerful.  Take the time to watch it, and I don’t think you’ll regret it.  But—fair warning— you may want some tissues by your side.

an assortment

• After my last couple of posts, I realized that it might seem that I’m in a funk.  I’m not.  I’ve been meaning to do a whole post about it, but the gist is that while things have been happening (family drama, etc.) I’ve been noticing a real difference in my response.  I can feel that things are sad or upsetting, but I’m not getting knocked down by it; I’m not in a deep, dark place.

• On that note, I am going to start seeing my therapist only every other week.  I was partly hoping to just be able to stop, but I think it’s good for me to have a slower transition.

• Drama with the sister/family continues.  It astounds me that my parents are still in such denial about her illness.  My dad in particular has seemed surprised by how she has responded about some things and some things she has said.

• My friend who owns the house I live in (“Nanette”) has decided to take a break from work and will be moving back home.  She has decided to have me stay in the house and have my housemate move out.  The positives:  I will finally have a decent amount of storage space (i.e. all the closet space in my room and all the cabinets in my bathroom), and I will like having Nanette around.  Also, Nanette will probably take short term jobs (1-2 mos) so I’ll get the house to myself some of the time.  The negative: my rent will go up.  Of course, it will all be cheaper than having to find an apartment and fill it up (remember, I don’t really have any furniture and very few household goods).

• I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot, I just haven’t made that transition from thought to action.

• Miss Famous is the sweetest doggy ever.  She may actually have a Famous Friday post for tomorrow, too.

• That is all.

what’s another word for “quickie?”

All is well.  I had planned to write and publish a nice juicy post, but then my 12 year old niece ended up spending the weekend with me (and she takes quite a bit of energy even aside from the back-to-school shopping we did) and bright and early tomorrow I’m heading to my younger sister’s for 3 days, where it is very unlikely I will have the peace and quiet to post.  So all is well, but it may be a few days before you hear from me again.

catching up

I seem to have fallen out of the blogging habit in the last few days.  Partly, I have not been able to communicate well what has been going on, which is mostly internal.  There are a few externals that I’ll catch you up on, and hopefully this will end the blogging drought.

• I have started lessons in the Alexander Technique.  A woman in my group (actually one of the volunteer facilitators) is a teacher of the technique, and she has been kind enough to give me a reduced rate.  I have had two lessons so far and have been becoming more and more aware of how much I tense my muscles (shoulders, neck, and jaw particularly) and how unaware of my body I am most of the time.  I had been talking with my therapist about finding a way to learn to be more present in my body and then I learned about this technique and that D teaches it.  I will try to write more about it later.  It’s been a really fascinating experience, so far.

• I have decided to stop sticking my head in the sand about my finances.  I think I had a pendulum-swing reaction to not being under X’s controlling thumb in money matters, and haven’t been paying nearly enough attention to how I spend my money.

• My sister is still on a downward spiral.  Not much to say about that—actually, there’s a LOT to say about that, but not much that can be said succinctly.  I hope to write more about that later, as well.

• In happy news, two of the greatest people in the world (and their 8 month old daughter AND their rambunctious Labradoodle) are moving back to the US from the Netherlands this week.  And they’re moving to my city!  In my insanity, I have offered to dog-sit while they are schlepping their belongings from the various locations across the state where they have been stored.  Miss Famous and the Labradoodle do know each other, and Miss Famous was, well, not the best hostess the last time they were together.  I will keep you up-to-date on these two dogs’ shenanigans.  Here’s a couple of pics of Miss Famous’ once and future house-guest:
  

  Gertie, with her laser-eye beam look

  

  she's a lot bigger than Miss Famous

  There are no pics of Gertie and Miss Famous together, because, well, yeah.  Hopefully things will be calmer this time around and I can share photographic evidence of their friendship with you.

sundries

• I am fatigued with a capital T-I-R-E-D.  The good news is that I no longer think it’s because something essential is wrong with me; I’m pretty sure it’s because of being on the wrong meds, and now because of the effects of stopping those meds.  So I’d like to sleep about 15 hours a day (and the doc confirmed that my thyroid is A-OK, so it’s not that), but I’m hopeful that I’ll perk up soon.

• Today’s the third day off the old med and on the new, and I’m feeling much less anxious (just tired), so that adds to the hope that things will be noticeably better soon.  Right now it’s feeling primarily physical, which isn’t fun, but is less crazy-making than the other stuff.

• I promise, I’ll stop hashing out my medical history soon.  I know things have been boring around here lately.

• I’m having dinner with a friend who’s here from out of town tonight.  It feels a bit weird calling him my “friend.”  He was my realtor before the whole foreclosure debacle.  The weirdness is because he’s a person from my life with X.  He’s in the Jewish community back where we used to live (where X was one of the congregational rabbis) and I’m sure the conversation will center on people and things back there.  I’m not dreading it, but I have a feeling it may be a bit strange, particularly because I am so disconnected from most of those people now.

• It isn’t just blogging that I’ve been doing the minimum—I’m basically getting by on my looks at work right now (and, um, yeah).   But we’re hopeful, hopeful, hopeful, dammit.  I will feel better soon, whether I like it or not.

one

From Kristin.  Consider yourself tagged if you wish to be.

This very much goes against my nature, which is to explain, extrapolate, and expand.  I am resisting.

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

No.
Explanations.

Not as easy as you might think…

1. Yourself: tired
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife: adiós
3. Your hair: straight
4. Your mother/stepmother: strict
5. Your dog: excitable
6. Your favorite item: computer
7. Your dream last night: weird
8. Your favorite drink: sweet
9. Your dream car: new
10. The room you are in: cubicle
12. Your fear: poverty
13. What you want to be in 10 years: wiser
14. Who you hung out with last night: class
15. What you’re not: simple
16. Muffin: top
17. One of your wish list items: baby
18. Time: insufficient
19. The last thing you did: called
20. What you are wearing: necklace
21. Your favorite weather: warm
22. Your favorite book: one?
23. The last thing you ate: banana
24. Your life: unexpected
25. Your mood: hopeful
26. Your best friend(S): amazing
27. What are you thinking about right now? this
28. Your car: dirty
29. What are you doing at the moment?: “working”
30. Your summer: hot
31. Your relationship status: single
32. What is on your TV?: off
33. What is the weather like?: cloudy
34. When is the last time you laughed?: today

randomness

• Still sore.  I think this is the sorest I’ve ever been from working out.  The next time I see that evil, evil man the trainer will be Wednesday morning.  Probably just as I’m starting to feel better.

• Of course, I’m probably sorer than usual this time because I’m more out of shape than previously.

• Migraines are a bit improved.  The needle lady had me stop taking one of the supplements, and they seem to be getting better (though they’re still around part of the time, of course).

• The group.  I have read one chapter out of the three that were “homework.”  I called two people, one didn’t answer.  I got one phone call (don’t think that counts as one of the three calls I’m supposed to make during the week).

• I have made a connection between this physical ouchy-ness and my feelings.  With all of this physical pain, I hesitate to sit, or move in certain ways sometimes because when I start to make the movement—ouch, ouch, OUCH, it’s going to hurt!  Once I actually pull up my big-girl panties and just do whatever it is, it’s usually not that bad.  There are a lot of feelings rolling around in me that I react to in much the same way.  I start to get close to them and ouch, ouch, OUCH, it’s going to hurt!  And I won’t say it’s a field of daisies once I do feel those pesky feelings, but it’s often not as bad as I tell myself it’s going to be.