The scene: office baby-shower for co-worker in the last weeks of her oops! pregnancy™. People generally standing around and admiring the cute decorations. Enter stupid co-workers 1 and 2—both middle aged grandmothers who regularly take it upon themselves to arrange your life.
Stupid co-worker1: Hey, Quiet, when do we get to give you a baby shower?
Me: (mentally fumbling, wanting to stab her in the eye, but answering politely) You’ll probably be waiting a while for that.
Stupid co-worker1: (with great disappointment in her voice, as if I am committing the greatest social transgression ever) Oh, Quiet Dreams!
(some time elapses)
Stupid co-worker2: Hey, Quiet, when are you gonna have a baby?
Stupid co-worker1: She said it’s gonna be a while.
Stupid co-worker2: Oh, Quiet Dreams!
(After staying an appropriate amount of time, Quiet Dreams exits the festivities to go cry in her car.)