Add this to the list of stupid things people say…

The scene:  office baby-shower for co-worker in the last weeks of her oops! pregnancy.  People generally standing around and admiring the cute decorations.  Enter stupid co-workers 1 and 2—both middle aged grandmothers who regularly take it upon themselves to arrange your life.

Stupid co-worker1:  Hey, Quiet, when do we get to give you a baby shower?

Me: (mentally fumbling, wanting to stab her in the eye, but answering politely)  You’ll probably be waiting a while for that.

Stupid co-worker1:  (with great disappointment in her voice, as if I am committing the greatest social transgression ever)  Oh, Quiet Dreams!

(some time elapses)

Stupid co-worker2:  Hey, Quiet, when are you gonna have a baby?

Stupid co-worker1:  She said it’s gonna be a while.

Stupid co-worker2:  Oh, Quiet Dreams!

(After staying an appropriate amount of time, Quiet Dreams exits the festivities to go cry in her car.)


5 responses to “Add this to the list of stupid things people say…

  1. In the spirit of learning to be a bitch as you mentioned in a previous post, here are some bitchy comebacks to your stupid co-workers. Even if you don’t act like a bitch for real, it’s fun to pretend.

    “Hey, when do we get to give you a baby shower?”
    –Never. I’m getting the hell out of this job as soon as I can.
    –Never. I hate you people.
    –Never. I can’t stand you people long enough to sit through a shower, but feel free to send some cash.
    –Never, you insensitive idiot. I am infertile.

    “Hey, when are you gonna have a baby?”
    –(if she’s also a home visitor) Are you this insensitive AND bad at listening with your clients?
    –I’m not, you ass. I’m infertile.
    –That’s an incredibly rude, intrusive question… and you keep asking it over and over. Wow.
    –(Give long stare of death then walk out of the room silently.)

  2. FRUSTRATING! Thinking of you and sending you hugs. I love Cassandra’s answers. That would be GREAT if we could come up with the PERFECT response, wouldn’t it?

  3. I have run out of “perfect” responses. The last time someone asked, I gave such a detailed explaination that no one at work has dared ask again. They all know and poke anyone new who starts to ask.


  4. I completely understand. I wish people would just NEVER ask the question. My co-workers do the same thing. “It’s your turn!” When the one co-workers DIL turned up pregnant a second time and response was “I didn’t even know I was pregnant!” Oh god, I hate those people. They are so ridiculous. And, I know its just my jealousy but I really am starting to become a bitch. There is hope out there though for all of us. We just need to stay positive. (Easier said than done, I know)


  5. Aarghhh, those people should be shot… I always wanted to say something like ‘well, every time I go to the supermarket, the babies are always sold out’, but I never got to say it to someone’s face.

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