Bullet-point blog post.

  • I am feeling very alone in my marriage right now.

  • I am starting to wonder if we will ever get back on the IF treatment journey.

  • I wonder if my marriage will survive.

  • I wonder where we will live next year.

  • I wonder if we move to X-city (where ALL the in-laws live) if I will be ok.

  • I don’t know if I will ever feel better.

  • I started anti-depressants a couple of weeks ago and didn’t tell my husband.

  • I have a migraine almost every day.  I would not survive without im.itre.x.

  • I find myself hoping that things will go well for Mr. X, mainly so he doesn’t take his disappointment and hurt out on me.

  • I wonder when things will get better.

  • I hope our house will sell and we won’t lose all of our baby-making-savings.

  • I am very sad today.

5 responses to “Bullet-point blog post.

  1. Hi,

    Thanks for commenting on my blog today. It sounds like, from this post, you are having a really hard time right now. I have some of the same questions you have posted and it helps to know someone out there knows what this is like. I hope things get better soon and I’ll be here listening.

  2. Oh!!!! I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it will all be ok. That is awful, when things are bad and instead of finding support you feel alone. My thoughts are with you, and I am sending happy, hopeful, loving thoughts and wishes your way!

  3. (((BIG HUGS!!!)))

  4. Oh, honey, I have so been there! I’m sending you internet hugs right now. Marriage is tough, IF or not. IF just makes it harder. In the past seven years, Mo and I have had to take many breaks in treatment. Some for financial reasons, others for emotional ones, and a few just because, well, our marriage couldn’t take it for a while. I have been there — feeling alone with the one person who is supposed to make you feel better and is instead meting out his own hurt and frustration on you. (Not in a physical sense, of course). We are all human, we all do it. We take out all those pent-up emotions on those close to us. Understanding it, however, doesn’t make it any easier.

    The two things that got me through were: prayer, and just putting one foot in front of the other, day after day. It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t give up and just keep on going. I made a decision a while ago, in the midst of some of our marriage’s darkest days, that I was NOT going to quit on us. If we didn’t make it, it wasn’t going to be because of me. I honestly believe that my stubbornness is the reason we are still together today!

    I am happy to report that we made it through those days, and our marriage is stronger than ever. It sounds cliche, but it is true: what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Hang in there and things WILL get better. In the meantime, if there is anything a complete stranger who probably lives halfway across the country from you can do, you just let me know.

    I’m here for ya.

  5. I’m so sorry. *hug*

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