Mr. X has been away this week interviewing for a job. He is currently in the city where he grew up, the city where all his family and many of his friends from high school and college live (but not friends from grad school–the ones I consider also MY friends). Apparently the job interview went really well and it’s looking like we may be moving there. I have a few thoughts, and more than a few feelings about this, as you can imagine.
- On the one hand, his family is there…but on the other hand, his family is there. ‘Nuff said, I think.
- On the one hand, we know several people there. Like I said above, a lot of Mr. X’s friends live there. A few of his close friends from high school (with whom he is still close–weird, huh?) have meandered back there. And I really happen to like them. On the other hand, they have ALL, count them, ALL had baby or babies. In fact, I think I will henceforth refer to this city as Breederville, just to make it easier. The last time I was there was a little more than a year ago and I had a minor breakdown with all the baby-love going on. So to recap: on the one hand we’ll have friends to hang out with, but on the other hand, they come with living breathing reminders that I’m barren, and it will be hard to escape being around them.
- On that note, there ARE ready-made friends in Breederville, but, on the other hand they’re HIS friends. There have been a number of times when I have felt very left out of the whole “let’s reminisce the old days” motif, which comes up a lot more than you would think.
- On the one hand, this is one of the last places I would choose to live, regardless of the above factors, but, on the other hand, it will be really, really nice to have SOMETHING in our lives not be up in the air (i.e. the house, my job, his job, where we’ll live, IF, etc., etc.).
Sorry I’m so vague about specifics a lot of the time. Mr. X has the kind of job where he has a public role in our community (and I do as well, by default, as his “lovely wife”). This is one thing that we are hoping changes with the change in his job. I am just really paranoid about being “found,” and I already feel like I have no privacy much of the time. I’m sure at some point I’ll start being less paranoid, especially if we move to Breederville, which is a Big City, as opposed to our current place of residence, which is Definitely Not.