(Dear ICLWers: There is some info in the “About me” tab–probably the most relevant information is at the bottom of that page: I very recently had the realization that I am in a relationship based on verbal/emotional abuse. My posting lately has pretty much just been about that and how I’m dealing with this realization. I hope to post soon about how all of this relates to IF.)
Thank you, thank you for all the wonderful and supportive comments. I have been working out a lot of things in my mind the last few days. Things are starting to come together and make more sense to me. More on that when I can be a little more coherent. ICLW might just be a wash for me this time–I’ll give it a shot again when my life isn’t so upside down-inside out.
I am feeling much more loved lately. (Not from you-know-who.) As I am reconnecting with friends in my physical world (as opposed to the internet one) I have been showered by their love, inundated by their love, and strengthened by their love. I think it has been a long, long while since I have felt loved at all.
I have been looking back over my old journals and am amazed by the depth of my distress. How did I not realize what a deep problem this was? Why was it so easy to blame myself?
I was planning to write only a couple of lines today. In all of my trying to survive the last few months my job has definitely been getting the scraps. Don’t know if that will change anytime soon. As long as I’m not the one getting the scraps, I guess it’s ok.