1010.9 miles

[ETA: This was the first post in blog #2.]

This is how far I traveled from the city I lived with my husband to my parents’ home.  I am literally shaking, mostly in my hands.  I took my clothes and books and a few other things.  I took my dog.

He never hit me.  He never got physical with me.

As soon as the veil of denial was no longer protecting me I was overwhelmed by fear of him.  It almost paralyzed me.  If it weren’t for some truly amazing people, I don’t think I would have gotten out of there.  I got out of town before he got back from an out of town trip.

During that last week, I’m pretty sure he had discovered my old blog.  I don’t know when, but obviously I wasn’t careful enough.  Before I took him to the airport for his trip, he went out to my car and took my debit card.  I was able to get a replacement debit card within two days, which he reported as missing, and it was canceled.  He emptied our savings account.  I was able to get some of our checking account money out, but he finished that off, too, and now I have bad checks floating out there (something I’ve never had before in my life).  I’m sure he’s telling everyone back there that I just went crazy and left, but I don’t really care.  (Well, most of me doesn’t care.)

I have an attorney, I’ve filed for divorce.  Everything went really quickly there at the end, but, like I said, once that denial was gone, I was terrified and I knew I had to get out.  I’ll give more details in the coming days and weeks.  I’m actually really glad that he started doing this overt stuff, though.  Before, all I had was the walking on eggshells and a feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Thank you to everyone for believing me.  I really needed that.

I’ll post again as soon as I can.

And the dog is fine.


26 responses to “1010.9 miles

  1. I am so relieved that you are away from him. Actions speak louder than words and the fact that he took away your debit card and emptied the account speaks volumes. Never the mind the cheques, that damage can be fixed, the only thing that needs to be done is to clear the way for your future. And as scary as that is, you have one now.

  2. So good to hear you and the dog are safe! I have been thinking of you. (((HUGS)))

  3. The veil lifted just in time. You are safe now. And whenever you are ready to let out the rest, we’ll be here to listen.

  4. I’m so glad you were able to get free. Sorry you had to endure the horrible underhanded crap he pulled. I’ve been in a place like where you are and it’s scary but it does get better!


  5. WOW! You’ve handled this amazingly! You should be so proud of yourself. I know you’ll be okay. I think you’ve gotten through the worst. Big hug to you!

  6. OMG sweetie, I am SO glad you’re safe! Mentally and physically. You did the right thing, I’m sure it was tough, but you did the right thing. You’re a strong beautiful woman who deserves nothing BUT happiness. I’ll be with you every step of the way toward a new you. I’m so proud of you!

  7. Glad to hear you and the dog are O.K.
    [don’t really know you and your old blog, but saw updates on the L&F]

  8. I’m so glad you had the courage to leave, and so glad you are safe. These may not be easy times, but you will find a much better life.

  9. Glad you’re ok. Just keep us posted!

  10. I don’t know your story, but saw your information on LFCA…

    The good news is, those bounced checks are as much his problem as yours.

    I’m glad you’ve made it safely out of a bad situation, and I hope the next part of your journey brings you peace.

  11. I am so glad that you are okay (and the dog, too). So sorry that he found your blog and that he went to the lengths he did to stop you from obtaining any money.

    I am so glad you’ve found a new place to blog, and will be keeping up on you. Hugs to you.

  12. So glad to hear from you, and that you are safe. I am so incredibly sorry you’ve had to go through all this. I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself, even when it was scary and hard. Huge hugs to you – I’m thinking about you!

  13. rosesdaughter

    I am soooo PROUD of you!!!! I am so glad you had the courage to leave. i know the road ahead won’t be easy, but you can do it! We will all be here to support you!

  14. So, so, so glad to hear that you are okay…and blogging again! I’ve missed your insights.

    I am so sorry that things turned out the way they did. I had hopes you two might be able to work things out. It is very clear from his actions, though, that this is not a man to be trusted. You did the right thing. It’s just sad when a marriage fails, even when it is clearly in everyone’s best interest.

    I am excited to see what the future has in store for you. Even though you have abruptly left the TTC train back at the station, I hope you will continue to blog and keep up with some of us as well.


  15. What a great post to read….It means you are okay! We are so proud of you and pulling for you each day!

    Please keep us up to date and if you need anything make sure you reach out.

  16. Thank goodness, I’m so glad that you and the dog are safe. I really hope that it stops here, and that he just leaves you alone.

    Good for you for taking care of yourself.

  17. You are very brave for doing what you needed to do to protect yourself. When you are ready, and when you need us, we are all here for you. Take care of yourself.

  18. I am sooo glad you are okay and away from that situation. It takes a lot of strength to do what you did – not just to leave but to recognize the problems and to value yourself enough to stand up for what you need and what is healthy. I am proud of you! And I am here to support you any way I can.

    Give the dog a cuddle for me!

  19. I’ve been worried about you for over a week. Thank God I checked the Lost and Found connection – Mel kept updates on you.

    I’m so sorry that all of this has happened. Even if it is for the better, I don’t think it will make the hurt any less. Please know that I’m thinking of you everyday and hoping that you’ve found peace starting anew. I’ll be here cheering you on. I’m so glad you’re safe. Sending you much love and a giant HUG!

  20. Thank you so much for letting me know that you are OK. (Well, we know that word has variable meanings.) I feel a bit selfish in even saying that I was so relieved to get your message and know that you were safe. Please, know that I continue to think about you and your safety and am sending lots of love and strength to carry yourself into the future.

    (I did not post your comment on my blog, just because it didn’t seem like that was wise.)

  21. First, I’m really happy to hear that you’re now in a safe place. I have been thinking about you, but like caitsmom said, I didn’t want to post on your blog for safety reasons.

    Second, I continue to be impressed by your strength and courage in demanding something better for yourself. While I know there will be difficult times ahead, rest assured that the community you’ve built here will be there to support you.

  22. I am very glad to hear that you are safe. I can’t help but think about your description of a veil being lifted and the coincidence of your previous name of Awake. I guess, it is now that you are truly aw.ake in this wo.rld – and I’m glad everyone here is able to support you during this transition period.

    I’m sorry to hear about the crappy stuff he did to you financially. Just absolutely wrong. I wish the best for you in your new place and that you are able to quickly get back to the road of bec.om.ing w.hole.

  23. I am so glad you are alright. You are in my thoughts, and thanks for keeping us posted. You are very brave, and strong, and I’m so sorry that you’re having to go through this.

  24. I am so damned glad you got out in time. I hope this is the first step in an amazing journey for you.

  25. I never followed your blog before but I saw some of the posts on LFCA about you closing your blog and how you are now safe. I don’t know what’s happened in the past but I truly hope for you that your future is full of many happy times. I’m glad your safe and that you got out when you did. Hugs to you.

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