um, I’ll take it…

My older sister has a nineteen-year-old step-son, my step-nephew (?), who has many, many problems, all of which I will not go into at this time, but I will say that he has been less than kind to his girlfriend (which has been highly upsetting to our entire family–especially his dad, my brother-in-law).  My sister and brother-in-law have offered to let her stay with them, have offered her many kinds of help, etc.  Anyway, it’s a long dramatic story.

Yesterday, while driving in the car with my sister, she told me that my step-nephew’s girlfriend is pregnant.  Our conversation of course went ’round and about many paths, but my first thought?

“I’d love to adopt that baby.”

Family drama aside…there’s not really any way I could handle taking care of another human being right now, particularly an infant (and the devil on my shoulder whispers, “But in nine months, won’t you be much better?”).

Some dreams don’t die.


17 responses to “um, I’ll take it…

  1. Are dreams suppose to die? I’ve thought that about my nephew when his parents were going through a divorce. We didn’t have to go that route as his parents got their act together, but I still thought about it. I hope whatever happens, happens for the good of all parties involved. Thinking about you.
    P.S. that you for your comment on my post. I feel the same way about you. This world and my life wouldn’t be the same without you in it.

  2. I hope things work out for the best and I hope you never let your dreams die (and you get to fulfill them one day)

  3. I’ve definitely had thoughts like this. Please don’t let your dreams die.


    Happy ICLW

  4. I just had this thought about two months ago. I don’t think that dreams die.


  5. I just read your profile—what an amazing woman you are! I applaud you for having the courage to leave Mr. X when you knew that was what would be best for you!

    Like Jo, I have a current 8th grader who is pregnant. There have been many times (especially as her tummy as grown) when I’ve thought how much I’d love to volunteer to adopt her little one.

  6. I so feel you! One of my former students came to me the other day to confess that she thought she was pregnant. Of course, my first thought was, how sad. . .followed by, I’ll be happy to take it off your hands!

    Unvoiced of course, but no less real.

    Your time will come.


  7. I so remember feeling like this when my best friend told me her daughter was pregnant at 16. My very first thought was I could adopt her baby and raise it. Hoping for good things to everyone involved in this right now.

  8. Dreams don’t die, but they may ebb and flow. And sometimes when they flow back in they can be killer.


  9. I want to say that I am sorry about your ex husband’s treatment of you. I remember when there were posts about somone on LFCA and their safety and I didn’t know who it was. I am glad you got out and are back to blogging.

  10. It is sad. I just hope she has enough sense to help herself and get out of a bad relationship and take care of her baby. I hate that your nephew has these problems. Maybe the baby will help him straighten out.

  11. I’ve had the same feelings when I’ve heard about similar stories.

    (and please don’t ever let your dreams die…sometimes they’re all that get us through the sticky parts of life)


  12. No, they don’t. But you WILL BE A MUMMY one day!, maybe right now is not a good time, but that doesn’t mean you should stop dreaming.

  13. Just read your story. Wow. You are a very strong woman. And dreams don’t die… take if from a single-mother-by-choice wannabe. 🙂 Anything is possible.

    Hoping the best for you and Miss Famous-she’s a sweetie!!!


  14. dragonflymama

    phew, i feel you. my dh’s 17 yr old cousin got pregnant around the same time i did. no one is sure of who the father is. i m/c’d and will probably be sending her baby stuff soon. but what i *really* want (still) is for her to give us the baby. for my sake and the baby’s. of course, i’ll never say that aloud.

    just keep breathing, doing what you’re doing to heal yourself. sending light for you and your loved ones.

  15. I had a similiar scenario with a couple single frinds of mine who unexepectidly found themselves pregnant. One ended up marrying her baby’s father and the other became a single mother after much soul searching. At one point she approached Husband and I asking that if she decided that adoption was her best option, would we be willing to adopt her child. Aside from being very humbled that she believed that we would be the best parents from her child we decided that we just couldn’t get our hopes up in case she chose to raise her daughter on her own. Obviously, since we are still childless, she chose to keep her baby. But Husband and I were very involved from the beginning. It was nice because Husband got a lot of experience with new babies and I got to live vicariously through her. I’m so happy for her and her beautiful daughter but I am sad that my time hasn’t come yet.
    Your time will come, it just often comes when you are least expecting it. I wish you luck with your eventual family.

  16. This dream shouldn’t die.

    Every time I read the paper I see a story that makes me want to adopt one of the children. I don’t think it ever goes away.

    Hope your doing well – it looks like you have made lots and lots of internet friends!

  17. I think I just accidently deleted my comment?? Sorry if I am commenting twice.

    My thought was this: Of course the dream won’t die, and nor should it. You are an amazingly courageous woman, and any child would be lucky to have you as a mother.

    And believe me, I soooo know about the adoption thing. Every time I see or hear about a teen pregnancy, I’m all, “Um, are they considering adoption?” But I don’t say that out loud; I don’t think I could ever be that crass, having gone through the IF hell.

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