You left this comment the other day: “You are so brave and better off.Am in an abusive relationship too.Not a physical one,a verbal one.He is very dominant.You are very brave.I can never do what you did.”
I answered you in the comments, but I don’t know if you saw it.
Please go to verbalabuse.com. It’s a good place to start. They have message boards (you will have to call to get a password). If he has access to your computer, learn to erase the browser history (“alt” for menu, look under “tools”).
Of course he has you thinking that you could never leave, that you could never be strong enough. I thought that nobody would believe me, but people believed me. I believe you. I also think that you may be stronger than you think you are right now. That’s what this kind of abuse does. It eats away at you, at your soul, until you don’t trust yourself, until you don’t believe that you are strong, are wise, are capable, when you are, you are, you are.
Everyone’s situation is different. Please be smart and be safe. There are resources for you if you don’t have anyone to turn to. Go to that website. It was started by the same woman who wrote the book I read that gave me my “lightbulb moment.”
The more that I talk about what has happened in my own life, the more people come out of the woodwork and tell me about their pasts, their parents, their friends, their siblings. This is everywhere. You are not the only one. You are not alone in this. You can survive.
Check out verbalabuse.com
You may need a password to get on the message boards–you have to call and talk to someone to get one. It’s a good place to start. And erase the history on your computer, if he has access to it. (alt, tools, delete browsing history)
Part of the abuse is to get you to think that you can’t leave. That’s part of it, part of the mind game. You’re better than that.