it all started with f.acebook

So I have felt somewhat AWOL the last few days.  It hasn’t been THAT long since my last post, but every day since then, I’ve been thinking somewhat incessantly about what I want to post about and then doing everything but posting.  So now I am finally getting to it.  The thing is, since Wednesday night, I have been lost in a fog of emotion.  Not grief, not worry–I know what to do with those feelings.  I don’t like them, but I know what to do when they come calling.  No, the feeling of the day, or should I say, days, is anger.

Oh, you say.  But nice girls don’t get angry.  Nice girls, good girls, just accept their circumstances with serenity.  Always.  From the word “go.”

Oh, YOU didn’t say that?  Huh…must have been that voice in my head again…

Well, now that you know about that voice in my head (thanks, Mom!), you may understand better why I’ve been in somewhat of a fog the last several days.  You see, with all of the emotion and angst surrounding the whole Mr. X debacle, I just haven’t felt very much anger at all.  Oh, I know (now) that it’s there.  But before the surface was scratched off thanks to that ubiquitous social-networking site last week, I really wasn’t aware of the ocean of anger that I was carrying around buried beneath my platitudes.

So, what happened, already?

Well, I was de-friended*.  High drama, huh?  The thing is, the person who defriended me?  Totally shocked me.  I didn’t expect it from him, AT ALL.  I have been de-friended by others, some who surprised and stung, some who didn’t.  And I cleared my friend box out of  a few (the Riddle family, mainly).  But this one?  He wasn’t just X’s friend, he was mine (emphasis on “was,” I suppose).  I had such a high amount of respect for him…then wham!

OK, all of that, not really the point.  The point is, that in thinking about this guy who was my friend (in a real-life way, not just a fa.cebook way) got me angry at him.  And then I got angry at X.

And whoa.

Because where does that ride end, you know?

So the work of the moment is figuring out what to do with all this anger.  Mostly what I’ve been doing is getting really busy and ignoring it as best I can, feeling physical symptoms, and getting snappy with my niece (nice, huh?).  That’s not really working, so I’m trying to figure out some other ways.  I will (hopefully) write a little more about this soon (I can tell you are waiting with bated breath!).

And last, but not least:  thank-you to everyone for the support regarding selling my house.  I will keep you updated.  Today was the open house, and the realtor should let me know if anyone was interested.  Also thank you if you put some energy/prayer into it and didn’t comment.  That counts, too. 🙂

*Apologies to those unfamiliar with fac.ebook.  Your “friends” are your “buddies” on FB–you can see their stuff and they can see yours (photos, updates, information ,etc.).  When he de-friended me, we had no more contact on FB.


7 responses to “it all started with f.acebook

  1. Alright I am opening a hundred accounts on FB, and you get to be on all of them.

    Sorry for the really trivial solution to your problem. I know how that feels.

    I am going to call it the Rid.d.le Ripple Effect. So the thing is is that you really seem to be caught in RRE, and if you ever meet your was-friend, you need to find out what has happened actually.

    Understand that when you and X went went separate ways, everything that stood between you was also forced to take one path over the other, and I guess, some people decided to go the other way. What prompted him to go with X? I do not know. But he may realize his mistake in due course of time.

    And nice girls MUST get angry. And then get EVEN.

    You can send somebody a gift, you cannot make them love you or be friends with you.

    I can sense a feeling of losing all those you loved and even a little alienation. If they decided to drop you off their universe, it is by far, their huge mistake.

    And I want you to flourish. And I want you to feel this, but grow out of it. I can’t tell you to let go, just because that is the most non-feasible thing at this point of time.

    But yes, the RRE is full throttle now I guess. It will have to pass.

  2. WiseGuy said it all. I really don’t have anything to add except to remind you that we love you and we are in your court!

  3. Anger is just an emotion, a guide, no more or less valid than other emotions.

    If you allow it motion, rather than ignoring it, it will move through you and not have power over you. What if you allowed yourself to feel it, to examine it — for just a little bit?

    Remember what I said recently, about releasing that which no longer serves you? If you embraced that thought, I bet this defriending was fulfillment of that wish.

    I hope the open house was fruitful!

  4. …And I get an extra chocolate cookie, because I prayed for your house-sale to go through. No negotiation on that front.

  5. Ouch. That smarts. And yes, I think that even though we are taught to not show anger, sometimes it’s a good thing, to at least get your mad on and rant a bit or throw something. As long as it’s not consuming you. It can though be a motivator. I know (and believe) the whole theory that if this person can do this, he’s not the type of friend you need although I also know that it doesn’t take the sting away and it doesn’t answer the why. For me sometimes the why is the worst part. I can spend years analyzing the why.
    So, if you feel the need to rant a bit, feel free to. I’m sure I could find you some dishes to throw if you needed them. Maybe even write a nasty note that you don’t have to send about why you’re better off without all of that. Or whatever else helps. Like cookies. Or not. Anyways, sending hugs and I hope the open house was a great success.

  6. I think you should get one of your friends there to spray-paint “Cheating Husband” on the side of his car. Then on his front door. Then on the church/synagogue/chapel where he works. I also think you should call this de-friend and demand an explanation, and dammit, tell your side of the story! If he won’t listen, then write-him off. But don’t just take it lying down. I know…I’m a nice girl, too. But I discovered a few years ago that my mother raised me, but my daddy bred me, you know what I mean? There’s just some things you can’t raise out of a girl, and my temper and general pissed-offedness was one of them. If that means someone thinking you’re a pushy, unattractive bitch, well….alert the media. This should be a big story. (Thanks, Mom!!) You go girl, but remember “Don’t get mad, get everything!” Truer words were never spoken. Go for the jugular. Fight dirty. I’m applauding already, cause the fucker deserves it.

    Oh, and good luck with the house! Someone somewhere will want it, I’m sure.

  7. I had a similar situation happen to me two years ago- my ex and I parted ways, and all of a sudden a reasonably nice couple that I’d always gotten along with decided to block me. Well, it turned out that the girl was paranoid that, since I was single all of a sudden, I would invariably try to steal her boyfriend, so she convinced him that 86ing all contact with me was the best option. In the end, I was saved from a toxic ‘friendship’ that probably would have dissolved on its own.

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