So I have felt somewhat AWOL the last few days. It hasn’t been THAT long since my last post, but every day since then, I’ve been thinking somewhat incessantly about what I want to post about and then doing everything but posting. So now I am finally getting to it. The thing is, since Wednesday night, I have been lost in a fog of emotion. Not grief, not worry–I know what to do with those feelings. I don’t like them, but I know what to do when they come calling. No, the feeling of the day, or should I say, days, is anger.
Oh, you say. But nice girls don’t get angry. Nice girls, good girls, just accept their circumstances with serenity. Always. From the word “go.”
Oh, YOU didn’t say that? Huh…must have been that voice in my head again…
Well, now that you know about that voice in my head (thanks, Mom!), you may understand better why I’ve been in somewhat of a fog the last several days. You see, with all of the emotion and angst surrounding the whole Mr. X debacle, I just haven’t felt very much anger at all. Oh, I know (now) that it’s there. But before the surface was scratched off thanks to that ubiquitous social-networking site last week, I really wasn’t aware of the ocean of anger that I was carrying around buried beneath my platitudes.
So, what happened, already?
Well, I was de-friended*. High drama, huh? The thing is, the person who defriended me? Totally shocked me. I didn’t expect it from him, AT ALL. I have been de-friended by others, some who surprised and stung, some who didn’t. And I cleared my friend box out of a few (the Riddle family, mainly). But this one? He wasn’t just X’s friend, he was mine (emphasis on “was,” I suppose). I had such a high amount of respect for him…then wham!
OK, all of that, not really the point. The point is, that in thinking about this guy who was my friend (in a real-life way, not just a fa.cebook way) got me angry at him. And then I got angry at X.
Because where does that ride end, you know?
So the work of the moment is figuring out what to do with all this anger. Mostly what I’ve been doing is getting really busy and ignoring it as best I can, feeling physical symptoms, and getting snappy with my niece (nice, huh?). That’s not really working, so I’m trying to figure out some other ways. I will (hopefully) write a little more about this soon (I can tell you are waiting with bated breath!).
And last, but not least: thank-you to everyone for the support regarding selling my house. I will keep you updated. Today was the open house, and the realtor should let me know if anyone was interested. Also thank you if you put some energy/prayer into it and didn’t comment. That counts, too. 🙂
*Apologies to those unfamiliar with fac.ebook. Your “friends” are your “buddies” on FB–you can see their stuff and they can see yours (photos, updates, information ,etc.). When he de-friended me, we had no more contact on FB.