Today I saw Mr. X.
Not in person, actually. Not even in “real life,” though it felt pretty darn real.
He left a comment on a blog I frequent–one that I introduced him to, btw.
And if I didn’t know it was him by his not-so-common first name and last initial, I knew it was him by the writing style and obligatory reference to his favorite musician.
Out of nowhere, “Hi! I’m your ex! Here to brighten your day!”
I found myself thinking that my life would be easier if he had just dropped off the face of the earth…instead of just moving across the country. Then there would be no little internet reminders of him to rise up out of nowhere and change the course of my day.
But who am I kidding?
Even if he were gone gone, bits and pieces of him, of our life together, would rise up out of my mind, out of my photo box, out of the mouths of friends, of strangers, of people who never met him, out of anywhere and everywhere.
Who am I kidding, anyway? What he was to me is burrowed down pretty deep in the recesses and I know it will take more than a few meager months to evict it completely. The collection of memories gathered up over the years spreads far and wide.