Because my birthday falls so close to the beginning of the calendar year, all of the new year’s introspection and resolutions and all that seems to get conflated with my thoughts about adding another notch to my birthday belt. Thirty-three as of today.
Last year’s birthday post was called “Can I Have a Do-Over?” That should tell you something about the space I was in at the time.
Well, I don’t think I want a do-over this year. Though my whole life was turned upside down and then some last year, and though there are a few things that are up in the air right now, I’m much happier with where I am than I was a year ago. And that’s really saying something (what with the trashed credit, the loads of debt, and the grief that still pops up and hits me pretty often).
Right now I feel like I am on the verge of some amazing things in my life. Where I am now is so much better than where I was when I turned thirty-two. I have a lot less money in my bank account than I did last year, but I don’t have to justify my spending to anyone. I live in a much smaller space than I did a year ago, but I love, love, love coming home to it, and when I’m there, I’m not walking on eggshells for anyone. Things feel a bit up in the air about my job at the moment, but I have a certainty that things will be OK, and whatever future I walk into, I won’t be chained to someone who holds me in contempt unless I kowtow to his every whim.
I am excited about what this year—my first full year of freedom—has in store. Happy birthday to me.