Lately I have become very much focused on How to Combat the Destructive Soundtrack of Hyper-Criticism. This was the main topic discussed when I saw my Needle Lady (a.k.a. my second therapist) yesterday for acupuncture.
An idea she discussed, which I had thought about in the past in my journey with my Food Issues, is that of considering myself with curiosity, not prescriptive judgment. The idea is to observe myself, my thoughts, my feelings, not with judgment, but with interest, with curiosity. So instead of bashing myself over the head for thinking/feeling/doing something that the Judge in my head finds unacceptable, I try to just notice what I’ve thought/felt/done. Kind of like: “Huh, wow, I didn’t know I had those thoughts/feelings. Interesting.” Instead of: “You shouldn’t think that! You shouldn’t feel that! How dare you?!?”* Or: “Huh, I’m really wanting to eat right now, even though I’m not hungry. I wonder what that’s all about?” Instead of: “I shouldn’t want to eat! I’m NEVER going to work through this food stuff!”
So this is what I’m trying now. It sure is a lot more pleasant, when I can remember that it’s what I’m trying to do. I’ll let you know how it goes.
*The Judge uses a lot of exclamation points when she talks to me.