happy February ICLW

It’s that time of the month again.  The time when ICLW sneaks up on me and I say, “Already?”

So if you’re new to these parts, here’s the gist of it:

About 11 months ago, I realized the problems in my marriage to Mr. X were not “the usual” and were instead the product of verbal and emotional abuse.  I left.  He went nucking futz, cleaned out the savings account, stopped making the house payment, hooked up with a neighbor, etc.  I finally was able to get out of my parents’ house in September and moved to a nearby city where I am enjoying my independence and slooooooowly healing.  The house foreclosed last fall, right around the time we went to mediation.  The divorce was finalized in December.  I am currently trying to dig my way out of debt, and recently started therapy.

I just decided to forgo taking a second photography class (I’m currently taking my first) and will start a divorce recovery group in April.  Yikes.  Feeling kind of nervous about that, which is testament to how much my self-confidence took a beating with X.

And no ICLW introduction would be complete without a shout-out to Miss Famous, the sweet doggy who has made this long journey with me.  She’s taking a moment from her Sunday afternoon nap (as opposed to the Sunday morning nap, and Sunday evening nap) to pose for a pic for you:

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9 responses to “happy February ICLW

  1. i’ve read several of your entries.
    they are deeply touching.
    i, too, am a survivor of an emotionally abusive relationship. i’ve been in therapy for a few years now.
    it’s like digging yourself out of a hole with a spoon. and the spoon is bent, and rusty, and hard to hold on to at times.
    the survivors feel bad, and the abusers, they don’t feel anything at all, except how it was all our fault, or we are the ones to blame, etc. i wish they could get a hold of a special mirror so they could really see all that they did ….

    anyway, best of luck to you. keep writing. you’re probably touching a lot of lives.

  2. Hey! I just found your blog, love the adorable dog (what blog is complete without a dog? I have 5). Good luck with your photography class- sounds fun!

    ICLW

  3. Hey, I’m here for ICLW. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, but you will be so much better for it! Your dog is too cute!!

  4. I knew this but I didn’t *know* this, just how little time has passed in this chapter of your life. What an intense 11 months!

    You are due for some calm.

  5. I hope the group helps you. Sometimes just being with people who have an idea of what you’ve been through helps.
    What a sweet dog!

  6. You (and Miss Famous) have come a LONG way in such a short time.

    I really enjoy reading your blog and keeping up with your recovery and growth. Very inspiring!

  7. Here from ICLW.

    What a nasty marriage and divorce. It’s good you found the strength to get out of it and to build a new life for yourself. Though I didn’t suffer any abuse by my husband, I’ve been divorced and been screwed financially by it. I know what it takes just to dig yourself out of that. Healing yourself along the way, that is a different story and a much larger feat.

    I wish you luck and happiness as you build your new, better, healthier life. 🙂

  8. I don’t talk about this much, but your ex’s actions are strikingly similar to my father’s. Right before I graduated high school it was uncovered that he was cheating on my mom with multiple people. She initiated their divorce, he took all the money out of the bank as well as her car, and I woke up one morning to an man with a podium auctioning off our house. We had to find an apartment, and my mom’s been fighting him legally ever since. It’s definitely been a journey for all of us.

    Talk about life experience! I wish you the best of luck moving forward. I think the groups and classes are a great way to get back out in the world!

  9. What a beautiful dog! How lucky you are to have a loving companion on your divorce journey.

    WIshing you the best of luck in your recovery xxx

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