(ICLW intro is down below—welcome to my rambling place.)
- Sunday I saw my younger sister (not the one with worsening mental health), and she announced to me and my parents that she is now 5 weeks pregnant with her fourth. She told us that she was waiting to tell her daughters (ages 6, 4, and 1½), but apparently “waiting” meant “I’m telling them tonight,” because everyone knew by that evening.
- Monday, I learned that my oldest friend (and one of my dearest) had a miscarriage. She has two living children, no other miscarriages. She was 12 weeks.
- Tuesday, I learned on F-book that an acquaintance from grad school is pregnant with her third. Her first was conceived via IVF, second was a shock to them and their doctors (and conceived while they were working toward an adoption), third was another shock to them, and conceived while they were parenting their two biological children and three foster-possibly -to-adopt kids.
I’ve been trying to write about this for a week, and have just come to the conclusion that I don’t have any great conclusions.
I just wonder…I wonder how my feelings about each of these situations would be different had I never experienced infertility.
Would I still feel like a failure when considering my sister’s fourth pregnancy in the face of my…nothing? Would I be so judgmental about her telling her young children about her pregnancy so early?
Had I not spent so much time in the ALI blogosphere would I have said something really stupid to my friend when I found out about her miscarriage?
What meanings would I attach to my acquaintance’s pregnancy? (Likely something along the lines of “see—just adopt and you’ll get pregnant!”) I never went through IVF, we just got to the planning stages of that one, but I’m probably more familiar with it than the average person—what would I have thought about IVF had things gone differently for me?
I don’t have many any answers tonight…I’m just wondering.
P.S. If you can, stop by and give Jo some love. For her, I’m just feeling incredibly sad.