in awe, part 2

Here we are, in the last waning hours before Yom Kippur.

It’s been a week since I’ve posted.  I thought I would be posting every day this week, but life did what it does and here I am a week later.

I’ll be in shul tonight and tomorrow.  As I mentioned before, I’m not so much for the idea of atonement.  I spent too many years wracked with guilt, too many years atoning for anything I could think of.  Tonight I am taking the opportunity to focus, to reflect, to connect.  Tonight I am not embarking on a journey of self-flagellation.  I’ve been down that road before.

The High Holidays have grown on me.  I finally got to the point where I could give myself permission to do my own thing, to use the time how I need to, and to float in and out of the words on the page and not be chained to them or to the often problematic theology of the day.

Tomorrow morning, before joining the congregation, I’ll attend a memorial service for my friend who died in the floods last week.  They found her body and we’re going to say goodbye.

I feel like I’ve got about 10 posts in me, but I’ll end it here.  I don’t have to make this the perfect post; I don’t have to say it all.  For those of you observing Yom Kippur, I hope it is a meaningful day for you, whatever you do.

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4 responses to “in awe, part 2

  1. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to celebrate the High Holy Days the way you want to.

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    Hope that your Yom Kippur was meaning too.

  3. I’m so sorry about your friend. What was the best memory you have of her?

  4. I relate so much to the years spent feeling guilty over every possible thing. I’m still working at not feeling guilty about everything but I’m getting better. I hope your friends funeral was a peaceful occasion with many good memories.

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