what I’ve been thinking about

I’ve been thinking about taking care of myself, about seeing the small child that is still inside me.  I end up in a tizzy when thinking about how I want to take care of myself better, and trying not to beat myself up because I don’t.  Things like eating regular meals so that I don’t get headaches seem so hard to do so much of the time.  It would be much easier to take on the role of tyrant to myself, but I can’t return to that, not anymore.  So I try to remember to take things slowly, slowly, slowly and I try to remember how far I have already come.

“One reason you may not want the job of caretaker [for yourself] is that you are still angry about never having been appropriately cared for by others.  You still wish that someone else would notice your suffering and make up for the deficit.  Even though you know that your wish will never come true–that what’s past is past–you continue to hold onto the fantasy.  Taking good care of yourself implies an acceptance of the painful reality of your past deprivation.”

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4 responses to “what I’ve been thinking about

  1. It can be really hard to take care of yourself…but, I know you can get there. Look how far you’ve come already. {{{Hugs}}}

  2. I too know you can get there. You’ve come so far and you’ve been a big inspiration to me. I think almost every one of your blog posts has something that I can take away and apply in my own life as well. Thank you for sharing your journey.

  3. Take care of yourself!!!!! I know it’s hard, but DO IT!!!

  4. Do you like pedicures (or another spa service)- put $5 aside very week (if you can) and you’ll have enough to get one for yourself every 6 weeks or so…. you deserve it!

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