“d” is for divorce

The other day I was talking with several co-workers—a couple of whom I know pretty well, and also a couple I had just met (they work in a different program).  For some reason the topic of traffic in a certain southern California city came up, and I threw in my two cents as I had lived there with Mr. X two different times, for a total of about a year and a half.

The logical question came up, why had I lived there?  I answered honestly and said that my ex-husband had been studying there.

I don’t know if the weirdness was only inside me or if anyone else felt it, but I felt a strange ripple go through the air.  I know there should be no shame in what I have been through, but it felt like I was shouting out a headline, all the while wanting to explain my whole story.  And also not wanting to say a word.

I have decided that should this type of thing come up again, I want to say, “I went there for a guy,” or something of that nature.  Not for anyone else, but because I think I will be left with less surplus feeling about what should be a light moment complaining about traffic.


7 responses to ““d” is for divorce

  1. There may have been some questions that someone may have wanted to ask but then again, so many people any more are divorced that saying you are really isn’t a big oddity or anything. However it’s also a matter of comfort for you and what you feel comfortable saying.

  2. I am a little surprised here… I thought divorce is a commonplace thing, so that kind of reaction was a little out of tune…

    Or maybe I read this a bit wrong. Anyways, I think that you should just say it like it is.

    I was following a guy is also a pretty superb thing to say…So just do what you are comfy with.

  3. Do you think maybe the feelings rippling through the air were yours? Maybe you felt there were questions because you don’t like that things didn’t turn out the way you hoped the would (initially hoped, that is)? Or, maybe it was plain old curiosity you were sensing?

    No matter what it is, say and do what makes you comfortable. I like the flippant “I went there for a guy.” It’s the truth without revealing too much.

  4. “I went there for a guy.”

    I like that! It kind of seems that the ex’s should not have a special title and story for forever. It’s good when they turn into just a “guy”!

  5. Ah, people get divorced for any number of reasons. It’s probably more your feelings surrounding the divorce that you felt rather than some sort of judgment.

  6. St. Elsewhere

    Just wanted to say –

    ‘Good Morning! Rise and Shine!’

  7. St. Elsewhere

    Wake up! Wake up!

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