Category Archives: iclw

ICLW January (aka better late than never)

I am venturing back into the ICLW waters this month.  (If you’re unfamiliar with ICLW, follow the link to find an explanation.)  I return to ICLW, somewhat chastened by my own procrastination.  The last time I participated was in September and I asked readers for questions that I planned to answer that same week.  Ahem.  Well, it is now four months later, and I am finally getting around to answering your questions.

My most sincere apologies.  Here’s to forgiveness!

Jendeis asked:  What are some of your favorite foods? Along those lines, what is your favorite Jewish food?

Favorite Jewish food is pretty easy:  matzoh ball soup.  Mmmmmm, I love me some matzoh balls.

Favorite foods in general:  most rice dishes (I think I could live on rice), fried chicken (though it doesn’t always like me), the list is really too long.

Both Beautiful Mess and My Sky Times asked:  Is it ever difficult for you to separate your emotions with your job [as a social worker]?

Yes.

I’d like to answer this more fully in a post of its own, but in short, yes, sometimes I have a really hard time with the emotions that my job brings up in me.

Haidee asked:  As a newcomer to your blog I’d like to know a little more about your background and infertility journey (in brief!)

In brief, back when I was married, we struggled with my PCOS a bit, and hit a brick wall with his extremely bad sperm morphology (size and shape).  We started looking into IVF and discovered I had a fibroid that would have to be removed surgically.  While fighting with the insurance company over the surgery, Mr. X made a career decision (that he would not renew his contract the following year), so we decided to put off treatments until we had moved.  This all occurred during the spiraling down of our marriage, and we split up about a year after the IVF consultation.  The story of the breakup is not very brief (involves my taking off the blinders and realizing that he was emotionally abusive) but if you’re interested you can read more about it in the tab above  (The Great Escape).

Tarah asked:  What smell always brings you back to your childhood?
What is your favorite feature about yourself?
When did you meet your best friend?

The smell one is hard to put into words.  It’s the smell of the air outside my parents’ house, particularly in the morning.  They live a bit out in the country and the air smells very fresh there.  There are cedars and live oak trees, but I couldn’t put my finger on what the elements of the smell are.

My favorite feature about myself…it probably says a lot that this is very difficult for me to answer.  I like how I see things in a deep way, that I see the patterns beneath the surface.

When I hear the phrase “my best friend” I think of my oldest friend, whom I met in fourth grade at school.  I have a few who would probably share the status of “best” these days, though.  There’s my oldest friend, in a state far away, the Domestic Wonder Woman, who lives here in my city—we met in grad school, and “Cherry” who also lives in a state far away—she was a classmate of Mr. X.

And, well, no ICLW introduction post would be complete without a pic of Miss Famous to brighten your day.

looks like the niece was helping Miss Famous hide

iclw september: 3000 years of beautiful tradition

Welcome one and all.  (Any questions about ICLW can be answered if you click the link under the red icon in the right-hand column.)

I’ve been in a blogging valley of late.  I haven’t been posting as often, and when I have, well, they’ve kind of been downers.  I actually don’t feel like I’m in a slump in life,  but that seems to be all that I blog about.

I would like to perk up the place–have more Perfect Moment Mondays, more Famous Fridays, more posting in general.  A lofty goal, I think, but a worthy one. 🙂

I will give you a few random facts about me, and then I would LERV it if you asked me something in the comments.  I will answer your questions in a future post (and possibly in an email to you—just don’t hold your breath on the email).

  • I’m a social worker.  I work for a school-based non-profit with high-need families.
  • I’ve been around the infertility block, back when I was married to Mr. X.  All of that “family building” business is on hold.
  • I have 4 nieces, one nephew, and one more on the way gender TBD (we’ll know in a couple of weeks).
  • I get to meet Lavender Luz this week.  How jealous are you?
  • I have the cutest dog in the world.  Her blog-name is Miss Famous.  Here she is in her usual position: This is her in her other usual position:
  • I am a Jew-by-choice.  I converted before marrying the infamous Mr. X.  Yes, I’m still Jewish even though we are no longer together.  For an explanation on that, I bring you the Dude and Walter (if you are, um, sensitive to “strong language” you may want to skip this clip from The Big Lebowski):

OK, your turn—whatcha wanna know?

happy July iclw

I remembered that ICLW is this week, and so that’s an improvement over last month.

But I’m really tired and have no creative juices to help me write a post worth reading.  Therefore, I am going to cut and paste last month’s post and adjust it for this month.  Here goes:

So, um, here’s my deal:  Divorce finalized in December, thus officially ending my verbally/emotionally abusive marriage.  Mr. X got remarried last month, and I’m feeling more and more free as time goes by.  While married, I experienced the “joy” that is infertility, which is how I got hooked into the ALI community.

Oh, yeah.  I had an appendectomy two weeks ago, and just returned to work on Monday, which may be part of why I have no creative juices right now.  I’m feeling fine, though, thanks. 🙂

I will also show you a picture of Miss Famous, who at this moment is very tired after a raucous evening playing with my friends’ dog, Gertie.  The dogs were banished to the back yard, until Miss Famous escaped, as she is a bit of an artist in that regard.

While I was recovering, Miss Famous and I did a lot of lying around the house together, which looked something like this:

or this:

But sometimes she would get up and look out the window:

That’s all I’ve got.  Happy ICLW!

aieee! happy ICLW!

True story:  I totally forgot about ICLW until I checked the blog this morning and had two ICLW comments in my box.  Oops.

So, um, here’s my deal:  Divorce finalized in December, thus officially ending my verbally/emotionally abusive marriage.  Mr. X got remarried last week, and I’m feeling more and more free as time goes by.  While married, I experienced the “joy” that is infertility, which is how I got hooked into the ALI community.

My faithful companion is Miss Famous (that’s her “stage name”).   Her hobbies include sleeping:

And, well, holding down the floor (that’s her with her summer haircut).

(I’ll try to get a post out soon that I spend longer than five minutes writing.) 🙂

ICLW May: where has the time gone?

It seems like just a couple of days ago I was getting a post together for ICLW April.

And it seems like just a couple of days before that I was missing out on all the ICLWness in March.

But here we are, already the waning days of May.  Now I’ve become one of those people who talk about how fast time seems to be flying by.  🙂 Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere.

Mr. X and I went through a bit of the infertility maze, back before I realized our “stuff” was more than the usual, and was verbal/emotional abuse.  I speak the IF language, even if I’m not in the thick of it right now.

My homework assignment last week for my divorce recovery class was to make a list of 20 things I like about myself.  It was a bit like pulling teeth, I must say.

Things I like about me:

  1. I speak Spanish.
  2. My sense of humor.
  3. It’s usually pretty easy for me to talk to just about anyone.
  4. I have little problem talking in front of people/large groups.
  5. I have seen a lot of places in the world.
  6. I’m good with kids.
  7. I’m a good aunt.
  8. I can be a lot of fun.
  9. I see the deeper meaning in things.
  10. I can usually find something to like about people.
  11. I’m dependable.
  12. I’m usually on time.
  13. I’m good at organizing.
  14. I know a lot about Judaism (my chosen religion).
  15. I have a strong desire for social justice.
  16. I’m different and continuing to change from the person I was growing up.
  17. I’m a good dog owner.
  18. I love to read.
  19. I’m a good writer.
  20. I care about people.

And one last thing…I have the cutest dog ever:

Oh, and one last last thing…I also have a pretty cute nephew (and the dog is patient):

So that’s a bit about me…what do you like about you?

april iclw: make yourself at home

True story:  I married a crazy person, but didn’t really realize it until last spring.  At the end of March ’09 Miss Famous and I got the heck out so that I could get far away from his emotionally abusive ways and stayed with my parents for a few months.  In September, Her Famousness and I moved to a city about an hour away from my parents and I started a new job.  My divorce from the crazy Mr. X was finalized in December and this month I started a divorce recovery class/support group.   Miss Famous and I are still getting used to living in our new city, mainly because I became a bit of a hermit after we moved here, so the place I know best is my own house, but I am starting to feel inklings of wanting more social in my life.  I just found out last weekend that X is getting married in June, and also that his “official” relationship with Version 2.o started a lot sooner than I had thought (they moved across the country together in July and were shacked up from that point on), so I’m kind of dealing with that at the moment.

All in all, I’m making progress, slow though it may be.  I love the ALI community, as I became acquainted with the infertility beast back when I was married and discovered what an amazing group of people make up that corner of the blogosphere.  Blogging has definitely been therapy for me, mostly because of the fabulous people I’ve met here in cyberland.

Here’s a picture of Miss Famous, looking pretty cute, if I do say so myself:

happy February ICLW

It’s that time of the month again.  The time when ICLW sneaks up on me and I say, “Already?”

So if you’re new to these parts, here’s the gist of it:

About 11 months ago, I realized the problems in my marriage to Mr. X were not “the usual” and were instead the product of verbal and emotional abuse.  I left.  He went nucking futz, cleaned out the savings account, stopped making the house payment, hooked up with a neighbor, etc.  I finally was able to get out of my parents’ house in September and moved to a nearby city where I am enjoying my independence and slooooooowly healing.  The house foreclosed last fall, right around the time we went to mediation.  The divorce was finalized in December.  I am currently trying to dig my way out of debt, and recently started therapy.

I just decided to forgo taking a second photography class (I’m currently taking my first) and will start a divorce recovery group in April.  Yikes.  Feeling kind of nervous about that, which is testament to how much my self-confidence took a beating with X.

And no ICLW introduction would be complete without a shout-out to Miss Famous, the sweet doggy who has made this long journey with me.  She’s taking a moment from her Sunday afternoon nap (as opposed to the Sunday morning nap, and Sunday evening nap) to pose for a pic for you: